Ways to cope with Emotional Surge

Patience is a virtue and today I dont have that virtue.

I hate the feeling when you feel alive and kicking and somebody hurts you and their words seemed shouting at you and making your hear turn and turn until it aches. As if the blood from all my body went all to my head.

I hate the feeling of just the desire to reach out, to communicate will be viewed as something annoying to someone. Its just a simple question. It was not something that could require a genius or a board topnotcher to answer.

So, unexpectedly, human as  I am, I felt the blood rushing and now Im feeling angry and really annoyed and all the emotions mixed and went mumbo jumbo, like a roller coaster ride.

I hate to feel this feeling.
I wanted to stop from feeling this way but, I just cant help it.

Emotional surge. Its a sudden, quickly happening and unexpectedly.

I hope this would subside coz I dont like it.
I dont want to hate someone.

Ways to Cope emotional Surge

1. Calm down. It was something so sudden That I didnt gave myself time o calm down. I panicked and pride got me.  I allowed myself to get hurt and I retaliated with words.
2. Think first before you speak. This was something that I failed to do. I was so emotionally defensive, I was bombarded with words so I defended myself with words. Words that maybe also hurt the other party.
3. Embrace silence - Its when in silence we can contemplate and realize that things should not have gone that far. But in my case regret was something predictable. Things get our of hand often times when we dont have self control. And self control is for the mature ones.
4. Shield the heart with God's word and apply it. The biggest mistake I committed early this morning.I heard God's word, read it but failed to apply it in my life. He said in His word:

    

Lord, I praise You, for Your mercy is everlasting.
Help me to remember that every battle in
this life is Yours. The outcome belongs to
You because You are sovereign.

No matter what is in front of us, God is always behind us.

What a shame, it was given. Right at the start of my day I have read God's word, but did I apply it? Thats my lesson for today. Take a deep breath and relax. Tomorrow is another day.

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Psychology of being sick

I hate being sick.
Check-up. Hmmmm, not so nice word for me.
No, really not for me.  But , my question goes who ever really wanted to be sick in the first place. Im sure no one would ever ever dare like to be sick.
In my case I have been in denial for the couple of years with the lump on my right breast, the doctor said it was just .5 cm seven years ago.  I was not courageous enough or never will be that courageous enough to have another check-up. Maybe with a couple of breast cancer deaths I guess it wouldnt be a surprise for me but, honestly. Im deeply scared for my life, for my family  for my contacts, for my co workers, my friends and to myself. Though, death is something inevitable but of course we could not talk about it, more often we could joke about but never ever serious. One time last week during our training deepening, our facilitator asked us to listen to her voice with closed eyes and she was talking about me on my soul state to hear only 3 people dear to me and what would I expect to hear from them. For a moment I told myself that I wont cry, that its not something that I could cry about. Then , I heard one sob, then another sob, then a sob from a not so distant corner of the room and then I heard my own sob and felt my own tear. Death is something sure to come to our lives but its something we wanted to come later.
      Life is too short and death is just he beginning of eternity. I have come to realize that when death is near and we can learn to number our days and learn to do the things we ought to do now now of regret in the end. I have a long list of people that I desire to share the gospel of the Lord but always procrastinating. I know I have to have a goal in mind and decide when to do it.
   




  to be continued....

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All I can do is smile

When things seemed vague and when my body is tired and my heart is weary with all the people in front of m, well all I can do is smile. Thats the most I can do. Faking a smile is better than having a frown and not such a great sight to see for my subscribers. These are the times the I feel helpless and worn out and yet all I got to do is fake it and just have that positive attitude when I feel like my body is giving up. The thought that tomorrow is another day.

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Productive saturday for me

Im glad that as early 9am I finished washing my clothes and cleaned the garden area and blogged a new. Wow, I love saturdays when theres no work and all I have to do is sleep and relax. I need this, with so much chaos and all I really need this. I need time to relax and just be with myself and rest and enjoy just being alone. I plan to go down town to check some supplies for the pillow and buy a few groceries for dinner tomorrow. Wew, its just a busy week for me and im looking forward for the coming week where I can go home to cebu and have bonding with family and friends and also be with churchmates.  Productive I also plan to buy pots for the coming flowers from the mountains. Shane our housemate will be coming home from a ministry visit and Im already excited to see the surprises she promised to bring.

Productive saturday, I wish I could rest this afternoon. A short nap will do and can help me with my painful back. I still have a bed sheet to wash and a room to clean. Its a long long day and I wish i could really make it a productive one.

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Simple Living For Women Day 9 : The One and Only True You

Do you struggle with feeling bad about yourself? If so, you are not alone? Magazines often exaggerate beauty,  what we see is the almost perfect picture, flawless white skin, curvaceous figure, long black shiny hair and all. But as Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being, you knit me in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully well, your works are wonderful I know that full well.

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Keeping the promise

Im keeping the promise to myself about the blogging thing. Well, wew its kinda hard since Im not the pro and the expert but just the normal trying so hard blogger. They say it takes 7 weeks for a hobby to become a lifestyle and that would roughly be two months, yikes. Sounds scarry and challenging though but im up to the challenge and the pressure that Im giving myself. It takes patience, patience and a lot of patience and Im keeping my promise.

 1. Promise number one was lesser of facebook, I can say that facebook is a time killer for me, in all fairness to facebook, it doesnt mean that its bad but its all about time management and I have seen how much time I spend on facebook and time wasted. Instead, I have found the nice thing about blogging since there's the monetary part of it which is still 56 dollars with my adsense earnings since I started blogging wahehehehe, still its an achievement and a real motivator.

2. Blog once a day. That not a very hard target I guess, as long as I dont give alibis to myself for not being able to give one post. Its the least I can do and I think, I just think with all my mind that I can do it.

3. Being creative. There are lots of things going on in my mind and all I got to do is work it all out put it something I can see and feel and thats the end of it, getting the results not just mere planning.

4.Do more of my cute stuff, crocheting- since the year started I was not able to make a single coin purse, I got to get started and make even one crochet each week. It could also be something I could blog about.

5. Spend time gardening -  I love the energy and the thrill when Im there getting myself dirty with mud and cow dung for fertilizer and some itch from a  cactus plant.

6. Reading - For the last few months I have been buying books every pay day but the sad thing about it, they just lie gathering dust every single day. Why? Because I thought I can find time to read, but well according to me, Im really busy.

7. Cooking and eating good food for myself. Im not the chef type but I dream to be someone who can be proud of my cooking craft. For now Im still the wanna be the dreamer when it comes to cooking, im not giving up and I have high hopes that I could give my husband to be the best food I could offer.

Wow, my list could go on and on but I have to think of more things that I could promise myself. I just hope I could keep them and say to my self promises are not made to be broken, they are made to inspire us motivate us and challenge us to do the best and be the best.

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New every morning

Its 4:56 in the morning and here blogging again. Blogging a new. Playing with my keyboard, trying to give emotions to words and trying hard to blog.
I thank the Lord for this brand new day, for a blessing of a new life and for the word that He has given me this day. Indeed they are new every morning. New word from God to inspire me, new life to enjoy, and to share to others. Today, I welcome the new experiences for the day with a smile and warm embrace, it may not always be what I wanted it to be but I pray for a heart that is willing to learn, unlearn and relearn. I expect new responses to my irate subscribers at work and impatient co-workers, and that I may able to handle it with a renewed spirit. Im a teller, but I guess I dont have much stories to share nor characters to build, but Im the teller who receives payment daily and almost always at the end of the day pray that I dont get careless and pay my short.
New every morning.
I want to face the day with a new heart, a new mind and a new body. Yesterday was a history and today is a present from God to do better or even do the best. Today is another day. Another day to learn and another day to think about what to blog.
New every morning.
Its good that  have new thoughts and have the excitement to blog more. To share more and to try to blog harder.

Hope you have a new morning.
New smile.
New attitude.
New heart.

Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

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Talking to myself

Hmmmmmm

I consider blogging talking to myself. Yes, very much. Its therapeutic, its a way where I can express wrong grammar, nonsense words, nonsense topics and even nonsense pictures to others but to me its something that could keep me sane. When you hold your cellphone and waited for someone to text, its just frustrating. When you are with people but you feel alone and no one could understand, well I just sit infront of my old toshiba netbook and start playing with my keyboard and start talking to myself. Much as I wanted to sleep and rest but cant help it.

Talking to myself.

When the world has gone techy and all and people also got busy with stuff and they refuse to talk to each other coz they chose to chat they chose to facebook and they chose to play candy crush or solve the mind buggling 4 pics one word, I even got so hooked with fruit ninja that I slept 4am just playing it with teary eyes.

Talking to myself.

Blogging, talking to myself. Im just glad we have internet connection at home I can talk to my self a lot easier. before I used to blog in the office making use of my office time with blogging time, and it was long that I realized that I was stealing the company's time. 

I love talking to myself, well I have no choice. Im away from people who can chase my blues away, they are just a call away but I wish one day we can have the chance to be together and just be there for each other, talking listening and sharing lives.

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I smile for you

Its a bright and sunny day!
Thank you Lord for this day.
Thank you for another life.
Thank you for a pleasant and warm day ahead.
I claim your promises oh Lord. I claim your word for me today.
And, I have decided to smile for you today.
I hope that I will be able to that stand the trials that will come my way.
I will smile for you today.
I have made my decision that I will smile for you today.

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Im inspired and motivated

It feels different.
Im blessed and im impowered by God's word daily.
There are miracles each day of our lives, even the drop of a single tear itself is a miracle. How it is formed and the conditions in which it might fall is complicated yet its so basic its so normal. I dont think I could ever explain how my tear dropped.
Just the same. I am blessed that I have this eagerness and inspiration daily to anticipate and get excited with God's word daily.
It when You have a simple prayer and a petition to God and we know how He answers our prayers; its through His word that we read daily. His answers may not always be a Yes, sometimes its a no, and often times its wait.
Thats why Im inspired and motivated.
The Bible is God's word  His love letter for each and every one of us. Sad to note that often many neglect this letter and just dont give it value. Its full of promises and assurances and helps us when we are weary, tired and even broken hearted.
Im inspired and motivated that day, each chapter brings a whole new promise, a whole new guidance and God's reasurring comfort each and every day.
For me, its a suprise.
It also serves as warning, giving wisdom that equip us as we journey daily.
Its inspiring and motivating me to start the day with a smile and keeping always in mind that everything that I do is all for Him.

Are you inspired?
Are you motivated?

Have a nice day and take care!

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I lost another coin purse

      I was hoping I left my precious balck coin purse at the office but when I arrived it was not there. I broke my heart for another lost coin purse. Sigh.... Sigh ....Sigh. By far it was one of my favorite coin purses and I have left a 500 peso bill inside that coin purse and that was not mine, it was supposed to be a payment that someone gave to me to be given to someone.

     It was really a bad day.
     It was that tuesday eveneing when I went to national bookstore to buy blaapen, but when I saw Jerry Bridges book I decided to buy, and another book from that I forgot the title, a planner and our daily bread daily devotional. I realized I acted like an impulse buyer coz I just thought of buying ballpen and alas, I bought books and other stuff. But, I really liked the book of Jerry Bridges  Holiness Daily Spiritual Journey. I plan to read and finish that book soon and be blessed with the message then fret on the thought of buying it without planning.

   And about the lost coin purse, my implulse mind came again and thought of buying another coin purse, but I will try to control myself, I guess I have to learn living without the coin purse  to punish myself for being so careless and thoughtless.



  

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Patience is a virtue

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23

These qualities are the qualities of our Lord. As christians we also have these gifts from the holy spirit. But sad to say for me all these qualities are still in the making. The one I struggle most is patience. Above all things thats just difficult to do, but im thankful that God is making me experience events in my life where I get to practice patience and truly its a virtue. We seldom find patient people since nowadays are fond of instant things and waiting seems to be a torture.

I just pray that I will be patience more and more each day, with people, with circumstances, with long lines, with late people, long working hours and a lot to mention. I appreciate why I have to endure, even waiting for the Lord's coming, we dont know when He will come but we will have to do our part and the great commission while we are still on earth and share to those who have not received Jesus Christ as his her personal savior.

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My dream

I woke up at around 3:30 in the morning, it was coco's (our cute adorable dog) bark that woke me from my sleep, he was so noisy, his bark was so loud that I find it hard to sleep again. Then, I had this dream.....The dream was somewhere in our hometown in Liloan cebu, it was a huge place, t was then I went inside a room filled with children, many of them were my cousin's children and our neighbors in Liloan, they were tired and all sleeping and seemed tired of waiting for me. I saw my aunt Balen, aunt Gabina and aunt Lina and Lita, they were the ones who brought the children, they said they waited  coz they know I was busy. Then in my dream I asked them if they already ate dinner but said they have not eaten yet. I went out to buy some food for them and served it to all of them. Then another scene came there were small tables for the children with huge crayons, and many pictures to be colored for the children, These were huge paper or somewhat coloring book that were all stories from the bible. In my dream it was already late in the evening but I saw more children, like in a conference they were so excited to color and they started qouting verses from the bible while coloring.

I woke up late, it was past 5am and I hurriedly went down to cook breakfast. It was a nice dream, there was peace and joy and children, and I wonder why my aunts were there in my dream. What could be the meaning of my dream....Im guilty of not yet sharing the gospel to them for they are devout catholics and might get angry with me. Now I have decided in my heart to really share to them the gospel when I get home to Cebu.

I know the Lord will reveal in the days to come.

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Ending the paper chase

Reward Yourself for getting on top of your own personal paper mountain.....
The joy of being able to put your hands on information you need, when you need it is real.
Georgene Lockwood

Papers- here, there and everywhere!
I uncluttered my packed things and was surprised with the papers I kept for years, some were way back college days and things that I kept bringing with me where ever I go. I decided in my heart to let go of all those papers, and around my room. I have gathered a sack of them and was contented with the feeling of lightness, like im floating, wow, I love it. It seemed that I have accomplished something great, I have  cleaned the clutter and burned the things I ought to burn years ago.Its a powerful step toward simplicity. I have replaced piles with order; I now  where to find things when I need them, I was looking for my civil service certificate and took a longer time to find it coz I have to check every pack and check it one by one. AT least now I feel a sense of calm and control, it makes life simple.
I have to go through the whole process if I have the luxury of time to check each paper singly. Do I need to throw it away, file it away, I know I have to be patient, give it a lot of time. If I will persevere the spot on top of my cabinet will be clean, wonderfully clean.

This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order.
Isaiah 37:1

Simplify.....

In a daily basis check papers around and see how to deal it, dont allow it to grow more and more each day coz there will come a time that its harder for us to manage the paper clutter.

use wire baskets to gather papers so that you can find what you need, when you need it, and experience less stress.

Segregate important papers with the use of folder or clear book for convenience, thats what i did to simplify and organize my papers.

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Beyond Hallmark Happiness

Ask and you will recieve and your joy will be complete. John 16:24

I envy this guy, im complete with limbs and arms yet i dont know how to swim....tsk tsk tsk

never seen a photo of him with a frown; its always with a smile....with joy....

always with a smile...so cute!

I got joy down in my heart , deep deep down in my heart. J - o - Y down in my heart deep deep down in my heart. Joy is a gift from God that we receive as we trust him, regardless of our circumstances. Unlike happiness, which comes and goes, joy is a deep, lasting confidence in God's faithfulness. I saw on youtube this joyful man Nick Vucijic, man born without limbs, but his smiles reveal the kind of joy in serving God and being used by God despite his condition. His life is a testimony of God's goodness, a life that alone trusts in God. Im blessed with his life and his positive outlook, its a miracle. Nick's difficult circumstance becomes the gateway through which God gives him a glad heart.

We too, can consciously choose to receive joy, whatever we face, from life's irritations to overwhelming crises, let's immerse ourselves in thoughts of God's love for us.Let us remember that while events change and shift he never does, he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. We are secure in the Lord no matter what happens. Allow worries, problems and tensions to lessen their grip in our hearts. "You will fill me with joy of your presence"( Pslam 16:11).


Simplify.....

Read the book of Philippians. The writer Paul,  experienced many hard times and much joy.


Sing or listen to praise songs, especially ones that help us focus on God's faithfulness.


Surround ourselves with joy filled  friends, allowing them to model them for us how to receive a glad heart.

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Learn to Love Your Life

Be Content with what you have Hebrews 13:5

Have you ever slipped into an attitude of discontentment?
I am guilty of such an attitude. I have become dissatisfied by dwelling on what I dont have rather than being grateful for what I dont have. Its common in the office, I hear my office mates complain about compensation, grumble about work, griping about issues about management, I nod and cant help but agree, it then  awakens my rebellious side. Not so good, tsk tsk tsk DISCONTENT. This book talks on how discontent can grow strong, stubborn and hard to weed out. Simplicity, on the other hand, consistently and consciously can nourish  contentment. When we are content, we are aware of God's many blessings and feel satisfied. God's abundance fill us up. We experience inner peace - and the simple life - as we rest in the assurance that God provides for every need. In my case its how I appreciate the current job I have while others dont have a job for a living im blessed to be here in this company working and serving others, its a way of sharing my life to others and giving them the best service they deserve.
To grow in contentment is to grow in gratitude. We notice the Lord's blessing and thank him daily. Count the people: the parent who taught us  to dream, the friend who makes us laugh, the office mates who brigtens up the day and makes you laugh when your stressed out. Count the familiar: the sky above, the ground  beneath, the rain that cools, the smiling mr. sun. Count the unfathomable: freedom and faith and God's  unfailing love that goes on and on, just like the blessings we receive immeasurably.
as we do this, we will nurture contentment like a well watered flower. A calm, restful sense  of simpliciit moves aside the dissatisfaction that once stirred up our complaints.

Simplify.....

Choose one area where you feel dissatisfied and ask God to help you move toward contentment.

Think of five things you love about your life and thank the Lord for them.

Create a gratitude journal by counting your blessings on paper. Write it everyday.

I look back on my life like a good day's work - it was done and I am satisfied with it. I was happy and contented; I knew nothing better and made best of what life offered.

Grandma Moses

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Its my life

Im not feeling well today. Its not that I am sick or physically ill, but maybe im just not well emotionally. Somethings wrong and I can tell. People expect from us and when we fail its as if its a criminal offense of not being able to meet their standards and what they expect of me. Well, life's like that. Simple things made complicated because of convictions and beliefs of other people that they want to impose on us coz thats what they feel is right and ideal and proper. Maybe, they're right and Im wrong. Or maybe we have a generation gap and things dont work around they they think it worked 30 years ago. Bottom line in the end its all about me and what I decide to do about it, its up to me coz its my life what ever the consequences of my actions I know I am fully accountable and I am responsible, this is my life anyway.

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first time auntie, that's me!

I have been happy since the day we learned my younger sister was pregnant. I was hoping for a baby girl but then it didnt matter.My heart sang for joy when I saw the helpless baby sleeping soundly not minding our whispers and our laughs.How cute is our angel. It was a great feeling. I wish I could have a baby of my own but that will have to go through a very long process, a very complicated process. But i wish I could have twins, a boy and a girl, hope theyll not going to be the cry babies that would get the worst of me, but thats under my prayer list yet, to be listed on my action list after my wedding.

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Zelmarq's life testimony

I grew up in a small part of Carmen, in this City,  born into a god-fearing family for which I am thankful.  We attended church regularly , but knew nothing of a personal relationship with God.  My spiritual life was  a routine, I thought going to church every Sunday, joining the church choir , joining  holy week activities and doing good works were enough. I  Never heard about salvation although i studied in a Catholic school in high school.  Life was all normal and there was nothing to worry about since my father provided  for our needs  even if  his heath was not that good. My mother was  on his side  giving all her support and affection for the family.

My Father’s heath got worst. Our going to church, kneeling for his health and even medication were  not enough to stop him from leaving us. 

I am the ate of 7 siblings, I had done my part of being the good daughter, tried to fill the missing link that my father used to have  but things were never the same. Life was difficult, I ended up working  as student assistant to support my studies and even my mother washed clothes just to support the family.

There were a lot of questions in mind that were beyond my comprehension and just brushed it aside and went on with the so called busy life I had. There was this emptiness,  something  was  missing. This emptiness defines lack of  purpose or substance; and meaninglessness.

Life  was about  me, I, and  myself . It revolves around  my studies, then work, family, career. It seems a purposeless life. I don’t even read the Bible and have no personal relationship with God. I only fall on bended knees when things get rough and its through Him that i cry out and find peace. It was a life without assurance, that if I die i didn’t know where i was going for i knew my good works were not enough to save me.

One day kuya Jerry asked us if are willing to have Bible  study and introduced us to ate Cessie  who became my spiritual mother last May 10, 2001. She introduced to me the Good News- that all of us are sinners that deserve death and hell, but God loved us so much, He sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins, and rose again. We can now go back to God be believing and receiving Jesus Christ into our hearts. I opened my heart and believe Christ as my Lord and Savior.  There were tears of joy on that day I met Jesus by faith. The same joy that ate cc felt, the same joy the angels felt when i said yes to Jesus, there must have been a grand celebration in heaven with angels rejoicing. Its indescribable, to know that Jesus cared for me and have died for my sins and how important i am to Him. I felt so special.  Jesus died for my sins, my sins behind that cross at Calvary. That as a  sinner I needed him, no amount of good works, education, good morals,  religion  could  save me. In John  14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life no comes to the father except through me”. Before, all my efforts  such as going to church, doing good, helping the poor, being a good daughter, doing good at school were all worthless and all dirty in God’s eyes. (Isaiah 64:6 )

That was the  start of learning and loving relationship with Jesus, my  Savior. But one thing I realized that life without Christ was dull and empty, but with Jesus in my life many things change, my plans, my priorities, my character. Although they are gradual, but there are sure changes, changes for the better and best.ly. I have learned to be sensitive to others and God gave me this desire to really share His love to those who are  still lost. I used to depend on my parents to help me and guide me but then the new life with Jesus helped me to depend on someone far greater than my earthly parents could give, my Father in heaven. I have found peace and comfort in the Bible, my source of hope.

I thank Christ Jesus, who had strengthened me, for choosing me to serve him even though I was a blasphemer, a murderer, a  persecutor before . But Jesus has sown mercy.  Now, I don’t want to go to heaven alone, i want to see friends, family, classmates and officemates and acquaintances. I want them to share with me the joy with Jesus in my heart and I want to see them in heaven also. I thank God for this life that he has given to be used by him to reach out to many more.

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Wednesday weeping

Its a wonderful wednesday morning. I praise God for a new life, though I may not have everything in this life but Im thankful for all the blessings that He has poured, I may not have everything I want but I have enough to survive.There are so many reasons to smile, but this morning I had my reason to weep. I thought I have over grown the feeling, but I was never brave when it comes to matter that concerns fathers.

Yes, I cried this morning.

I saw rose rendon on facebook and I how I love the picture of her and her father.

I miss my father. I miss him so much. I ended up weeping. I wept hard. I never had the chance to have a picture with him and as far as I can remember we never had a family picture when he was around. My heart aches. Its aching more than the first broken heart I once had, its painful. Im embracing the pain. Its always this way, I end up getting involved with my emotions. Its already 3: 25pm and im always teary eyed since this morning when that thought comes to mind. I just try to think of happy thoughts to chase my tears away, but the tears just try to remind me that its alright to cry. Crying can be a good exercise for the heart.

Im not alone. There are lots of fatherless children in the world  but  cant I help but reveal the melancholic side of me, it does happen. Im just glad even though I no longer have a physical father  have my Father up there who has lavished me with so much love and care, who died for my sins and save my from eternal damnation, my first love love, Jesus Christ.
Its ok to weep once in a while.
Its ok to cry.
And to those children who have their fathers with them, pray for your fathers, for salvation,  for good health and for protection, always. Treasure each moment together.

Zelmarq

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