I grew up in a small part of Carmen, in this City, born into a god-fearing family for which I am thankful. We attended church regularly , but knew nothing of a personal relationship with God. My spiritual life was a routine, I thought going to church every Sunday, joining the church choir , joining holy week activities and doing good works were enough. I Never heard about salvation although i studied in a Catholic school in high school. Life was all normal and there was nothing to worry about since my father provided for our needs even if his heath was not that good. My mother was on his side giving all her support and affection for the family.
My Father’s heath got worst. Our going to church, kneeling for his health and even medication were not enough to stop him from leaving us.
I am the ate of 7 siblings, I had done my part of being the good daughter, tried to fill the missing link that my father used to have but things were never the same. Life was difficult, I ended up working as student assistant to support my studies and even my mother washed clothes just to support the family.
There were a lot of questions in mind that were beyond my comprehension and just brushed it aside and went on with the so called busy life I had. There was this emptiness, something was missing. This emptiness defines lack of purpose or substance; and meaninglessness.
Life was about me, I, and myself . It revolves around my studies, then work, family, career. It seems a purposeless life. I don’t even read the Bible and have no personal relationship with God. I only fall on bended knees when things get rough and its through Him that i cry out and find peace. It was a life without assurance, that if I die i didn’t know where i was going for i knew my good works were not enough to save me.
One day kuya Jerry asked us if are willing to have Bible study and introduced us to ate Cessie who became my spiritual mother last May 10, 2001. She introduced to me the Good News- that all of us are sinners that deserve death and hell, but God loved us so much, He sent Jesus Christ to die for our sins, and rose again. We can now go back to God be believing and receiving Jesus Christ into our hearts. I opened my heart and believe Christ as my Lord and Savior. There were tears of joy on that day I met Jesus by faith. The same joy that ate cc felt, the same joy the angels felt when i said yes to Jesus, there must have been a grand celebration in heaven with angels rejoicing. Its indescribable, to know that Jesus cared for me and have died for my sins and how important i am to Him. I felt so special. Jesus died for my sins, my sins behind that cross at Calvary. That as a sinner I needed him, no amount of good works, education, good morals, religion could save me. In John 14:6 Jesus said, “I am the way the truth and the life no comes to the father except through me”. Before, all my efforts such as going to church, doing good, helping the poor, being a good daughter, doing good at school were all worthless and all dirty in God’s eyes. (Isaiah 64:6 )
That was the start of learning and loving relationship with Jesus, my Savior. But one thing I realized that life without Christ was dull and empty, but with Jesus in my life many things change, my plans, my priorities, my character. Although they are gradual, but there are sure changes, changes for the better and best.ly. I have learned to be sensitive to others and God gave me this desire to really share His love to those who are still lost. I used to depend on my parents to help me and guide me but then the new life with Jesus helped me to depend on someone far greater than my earthly parents could give, my Father in heaven. I have found peace and comfort in the Bible, my source of hope.
I thank Christ Jesus, who had strengthened me, for choosing me to serve him even though I was a blasphemer, a murderer, a persecutor before . But Jesus has sown mercy. Now, I don’t want to go to heaven alone, i want to see friends, family, classmates and officemates and acquaintances. I want them to share with me the joy with Jesus in my heart and I want to see them in heaven also. I thank God for this life that he has given to be used by him to reach out to many more.
