The parable of the pencil

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."

"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.


Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.



Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

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Wordless Wednesday

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My Last Day of my First Trip to Kalipay

“We gave joy and found it in abundance”
By Gary Idulza

A Psalm of David keep ringing in my ear, it was a verse of chapter 86 of Psalms and it says “Bring joy to your servant, for to you, O Lord, I lift up my soul”. We are that joy to our Higaonon Brethren and them to us, for if we only let God use us, we would indeed be a blessing. As we were on this trip, we were as of living through the words of Psalms 86. That gave me comfort and security through heavy rain, slippery paths, cold nights, muddy terrain, doubt, despair and the ever present danger of death.
Waking up in the stillness of the night, as everybody seems to be asleep. I praised God and gave thanks to Him, how wonderful it is to be a servant serving others that cannot give anything in return. They could only impart their shelter and their joy; they could only ask God on what might be our need. At the break of day, Brother Boy Sin-ingans’ house turned into a beehive of activity, the ladies were already busy in the kitchen fixing breakfast for us; all three dozen of us and by no means was an easy feat to do.
We gathered around for the early news coming from the project site and what good news it was. As early as 4 hours past midnight, as was the instruction to start the operation of the catchment’s basin, they are now using it as planned. As water flowed out of the pipeline from the catchment’s basin, they now used the water for drinking and for gardening purposes. When everybody heard about it, praises and thanks broke the stillness silence of the morning at Kalipay.
Breakfast came and gone and now we prepared for the early Sunday fellowship that will be held at Brother Boy Sin-ingan’s house. We as adventurous as ever decided to bathe at a nearby catchment’s basin, which was way down the steep and slippery slope of Kalipay Proper. As the start of the fellowship got nearer, more and more people are now coming to Brother Boy’s house. Some of our brethren came as far as from Bukbokon, a place on the mountains of Butuan City. A good two hours plus by bus from were we are now, but they didn’t even rode any vehicle; they just walk more than four hours of mountain path on a rugged and steep terrain. What commitment have these brethren of ours that they where on time for the 8 a.m. Sunday fellowship. I felt ashamed of myself that I often go late for fellowship, these brethren walk farther than my house to our fellowship center at Cagayan de Oro City. When the fellowship started, everybody was shoulder to shoulder singing praises and worship our God Almighty. We further strengthened each other by the quoting verses from the Bible and exhorting fellow brethren that the things we do are all for God’s glory and the furtherance of his Kingdom. There was also one surprise that was in store for us, the official public head of Kalipay donated a lot for the building of a Ministry church at the barangay’s proper. Praise God! Everybody was delighted by the news.
We then packed our things, blessed everyone and be blessed also by them, and then off we go back to Cagayan de Oro City our home. The Trip was for me a memory of a lifetime, it seems that I learned more of life and how I should be thankful of the blessing I have now, and be content of it. Serving others as Jesus Christ served us took a new perspective of life for me. Having tasted God’s presence amongst our Higaonon brethrens, I should impart the lessons learned in this trip to my self and others so that they may see that serving is the way to be.

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Recycled Christmas Decors 2008

Our wishlist; old cds again

with colorful crepe paper.

made of newspapers warpped in colorful

crepe papers with glitters.

Used cds adorned with colorful

crepe papers and lovely glitters.

Recycled 2006 Christmas Decors

Zelmarq

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My First Kalipay Trip (Day 2)

My First Kalipay Trip (Day 2)
“I’m weak and spent but the Lord sustains me, Therefore I move on, all for God’s Glory”
My personal reflection on the trip
By Gary Idulza

Up in the mountains, it never crossed my mind that the “cold mountain air of Gingoog City can sting”. It stung me, waking up an hour earlier before the struck of midnight. For a moment I thought I was sleeping inside a huge freezer, I frantically rubbed my hands on my feet and arms. Then I scrambled for my backpack and insulated myself with more thick clothes. By now the winds were chilling and howling, it was a good thing for us that we slept in a house with four walls. Not so with some of our colleagues from Iligan City and province of Iloilo. They slept in the traditional houses of the Higaonons, where there are no walls and only a roof and elevated flooring. Everybody had a good night 10+ hours of sleep, even me. The sleep we took refreshed our body and now was the time that we must refresh our spirit with the Word of God.

Due to the lack of light (there’s no electricity for miles from us) some proceeded to boiling the water for a hot refreshing coffee for our numb body. We groped a bit in the dark doing our chores and the flashlight from our cell phones were the only source of light besides the occasional lights made by the fireflies patrolling the area. At the break of dawn, I fetched water for cooking and washing dishes. As everybody gathered around and there was enough light to read the letters of our Bibles. Kuya Bernie, our Senior Pastor let me read a chapter in Psalms. As we heard and “digested” the Word of God, it reminded us that we are here to serve our brethren, and that all things belong to the One who created all things, we are just stewards, Ate Babes also added insights on what we heard. Then everybody prayed to God for fair weather the rest of the day. By now we were going to continue building the catchments’ basin, but first we have to eat our breakfast meal and of boiled eggs and home maid stew. We also gave some to our neighboring families there. But as it turned out they also cooked extra sweet potatoes for us and we were much delighted by the offer.

The sands that was carried days earlier were way to few; so we gathered sands in the vicinity of the nearest waterfalls from our site, which we traversed coming to the site. Kuya Bernie led some of us to gather more sands and we made several trips through occasionally muddy and wet trail to amass enough sands for our project. We often stop ones in every trip up to our site to catch our breath, for the wet sands were bearably heavy though one of us did carry a half full sack of sands (it’s not me!) every trip we took. There were two little kids that took turns on escorting us every trip carrying, sometimes carrying the spade used to pile up the sands near the waterfalls (talk about child labor). Almost often I only hear my heavy breathing but as I stop to catch my breath I would occasionally hear these kids singing. During the last trip of gathering the sands, as we stopped to catch our breath, we heard burst of gunfire not too far from the trail. It seemed that it was just only a mound above us, and we discussed what it was, who fired it and how near it was. One of us jokingly said that it was just a carpenter banging a piece galvanized iron sheet for roofing, but we were determined to finish our project and no amount of gunfire will hinder our resolve. When we entered the project site, it was already abuzz with what the gunfire might be. And our fellow Higaonon brethrens were already coming in with the rest of the hollowed blocks and cements that was not carried yesterday. By now the sun was nearing its zenith and so was our belly ready for lunch. Our meal was made out of fresh produce from the garden below, steaming hot rice and dried fish (yummy!!!).
We then continued on the project which was nearing completion due to the fair weather, excellent camaraderie and Providence. Sometimes we got distracted from our work by the occasional passing of people carrying big fruits from their own farms, some carried marang (a kind of fruit in between a jackfruit and durian). Wendy and Hazel (our cooks) took turns on taking pictures for the documentary ands eavesdropping ones in a while on our work if it is already finished. Everybody in the area surrounding the project was already anticipating the finish and is eagerly excited that there is now a catchments’ basin for their drinking water and watering their gardens. We finished our work at around four in the afternoon, and then pack our bags for our homeward journey.

Close to three dozen people were mobilized to help in the construction of the catchments’ basin, this project ones the water starts to flow would help Higaonon brethrens living and farming within the vicinity of the project. Everybody helped, even little kids collected stones for the project. The women cooked, washed dishes and clothes and even collected vegetables from their gardens for our meals, that is not to include that they did carry considerable materials for the project when we first went up to the mountain site. Everybody was elated when we announced that the project is already finished and joy was very evident in everybody’s faces. God’s mighty hand was upon us every step of the way; As Kuya Bernie always points out to us “God’s work done in God’s way will never lack anything”. Amen to that. Even the bursts of gunfire that we heard a while ago were just a thing of the pass. Sweat and mud did not hamper our spirits for in our hearts God’s faithfulness was aflame.

After the last instruction was given to Datu Basa, we then proceeded to go down from the site to Purok 6 of Barangay Kalipay. Along the way we were chased by a sudden downpour of rain. And it took us just a little over and hour to get back to Brother Boy Sin-ingan’s home, which was our first stop at Barangay Kalipay. Everyone was amazed that it only took us half the time to get down the mountain than to go up it. As night was fast approaching we cooked for thirty plus people with only three small cans of sardines, a handful of aubergines and the ever reliable dried fish. The meal we prepared was just the right amount, everybody’s tummy were full and even a little left over. What a miracle!!!

As everybody settled for the night we chatted on the events that transpired earlier we found out that those bursts of gunfire was a salute to militia that was laid to rest there at the top of the mountain where we were earlier in the day. Brother Boy Sin-ingan’s home was jam-packed with warm bodies as we crammed our selves to sleep. Brother Jun of Iloilo was beside me as I personally reflected on our journey. The Lord sustained me; every step of the way the Lord’s Hand was upon me pushing me to go further even though I was way past my limit. As I lay on the floor, I was now drowning to sleep content that one my weakest point, God carried me.

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Plastic raincoats......

Our group went to a remote area to make catchment basin for the tribe in the mountains. It was one of the great walks that I have ever expereinced in my life. I prayed for protection and strength to the Lord for I knew what was instore for us, 8 kilometers mountain walk which means up and down, slopes, and something that will require vigor and stamina. Im just a neophyte when it comes these kinds of activities but the Lord is my strength, as long as Im doing it for His glory, I know He will always be by my side.

It rained hard but we have to go to the area, so what we did was to make plastic cellophanes for our protection from the rain. And it really served its purpose, it protected our things and our bodies from the hard rain. Have you used this kind of rain coat?It was a walk to remember, I feel so close to God, as if the clouds are within reach, with His magnificent creation, the rain, the coldness of the breeze and the sound of the crickets whispering to my ears, welcoming me with gratitude. Felt the sweat trickling down my face with the hard rain pouring, every now and then I try to catch my breath after every elevated part and try to stay cool when I reach flat zones.

Im writing more but cant keep the thoughts from coming through and I'll have to end here, still waiting for the continuation of Gary's story, I have to admit that is a great story teller than me, I have always been the frustrated writer and a trying hard blogger.

Zelmarq

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My Kalipay Trip

My First Kalipay Trip
By Gary G Idulza

In the wee hours of the morning on November 14th 2008, a group of Christians traveled to the slopes of one of the mountains of Gingoog City, Misamis Oriental, Philippines to build a project; a catchments’ basin in one of the numerous springs that jot the mountain side. And I was one of them that journeyed to that awesome place.

Barangay Kalipay is one of the barangays of Gingoog City which translates as “joy” or “happiness” in English and what joy that did awaited us at that wonderful place, a home to a lot of our Higaonon brethren. We traveled for 5 hours from Cagayan de Oro City where I lived and to Kalipay, Gingoog City. But Poruk 6 of Kalipay was only our pit stop for our final trek to the place were we gonna build a catchments’ basin.

We stayed for a while at our brethren Boy Sin-ingans’ house; it was a simple wooden house that was full of warm people that greeted us.

It was a joy that we felt it was like just coming home from a long travel. It was decided that we have to go to the site even though there was already a heavy downpour, after we gathered the provisions for the final leg up to the mountains we huddled around to pray to our Lord that all will be well and successful. Of we go with instant raincoats just to fend most of the falling rain. I carried a sack full of plates and utensils while others carried gallons of mineral water, cement, hollow blocks, and to some sacks of sand, steel rods, PVC pipes, biscuits and even eggs for breakfast. The trek was hard but amazing; it tested my endurance and some of our brethren but as I found out later that our Higaonon brethren highly favored walking while there was rain. The path to the site was on an old logging trail, it was muddy, lot of loose stones, torrential rains carved out little streams of water in the trail, and at some points we crossed short waterfalls and cascades. A huge boulder along the trail greeted us and it was a sort of an entrance to the site. At last we arrived at the site after 2 hours of walking the “Extra Challenge” trail, the site was near the mountains’ summit, a majestic view of the lowlands and from our vantage point we where looking down from afar the island of Camiguin with it towering volcanoes.

As we settled in the site area we where greeted by the mountain air with a gentle breeze as if we were welcomed by the mountain itself. We thanked and praised God that all was safe despite the heavy downpour. We had afternoon snacks then we inspect the exact site for the catchments’ basin and of we go, we started that afternoon the foundations for the catchments’ basin we dug through the mud and found out that the mud was not too deep and the added bonus was that right below the mud were we will put the catchments’ basin was a compact soil good for establishing our project. God was indeed with us, He provided everything for the success of our project including the exact place on where we are going to put the projects’ foundations. We stopped our work for the moment so that the foundations of the project would harden. We then bathe in the spring and after a while we had early dinner. We were miles away from the nearest electricity pole. As we had early dinner we also slept early at around 6:30 in the evening we were already going to bed contented that everything was going as planned. We thanked and praised the Lord Almighty that though the trek was somewhat arduous and exhausting for a city folk as me, we were not a bit tired. First day of our journey ends.

To be continued.....

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Bitter sweet realizations....

I just came fresh from a three day youth discipleship conference and I feel the spiritual fullness and it feels so great, I feel so energized. I had bitter and sweet realizations.

The messages opened my eyes to these realizations in my life.

I cried while walking on my way home, alone in a remote provincial road from my children ministry.

I cried coz I realized vital things. One speaker talked of stewardship, and I took it so hard and realized that i was not a good steward with my life. There so many opportunites, time and relationships wasted and for me its bitter coz I know I could no longer do anything about it. But there's no use crying over spilled milk, know the Lord is not through with my life yet, and I praise God for His guidance and for using people to guide me. Its sweet because I still have time to do better and to do the best for the Lord.

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Blogging tips....

You’ve been diligent in your postings, responding to readers’ questions earnestly and seems to be doing everything right but you don’t seems to be able to get past this moribund number of readers and participation level. You wondered what could be wrong. It’s your Content – Stupid!. I don’t mean to be blunt here but the truth of the matter is content that is routine and predictable does not work the magic of stimulating your readers to action – be it comments, backlinks, clickthroughs, or whatever that is you are looking for. And no amount of SEOs, layouts, blog redesigns or plugins are going to get you out of this slump. The good news is that you don’t have to do much to get yourself out of this bind, all it takes is a little bit of tweaking of your content here and there.


Here are some ideas that have been time tested :

1. Killer Headline -

Your blog topic’s headline is the first thing that your visitor sees – so it better be captivating enough to catch their attention. The objective here is to pique their curiosity enough to take a further look into it. Like everything else its easier said then done because the law of averages works against you here - less than 2 percent of the visitors that see your headline will actually read the rest of the blog topic. So quite simply put if you want to increase your odds of beating the averages, you need a better headline. One way to get great ideas for blog topics is to get yourself into the habit of checking out the popular pop culture magazines and also what’s making it into the front pages of Digg, Delicious and other popular social media networks.

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When was the last time you ate oatmeal?

I lost count. I cant really exactly remember but one things for sure it was months ago, i cant figure out how many months but its surely months ago. I was reminded with the advertisement last night from the tv about have healthy heart and its through eating outmeal whish serves as the sweeper nd cleans our heart. SO today im eating oatmeal for breakfast. I miss the feeling and I love to eat it and I wonder why it took me this long to realize that i should eat foods to help my body with the daily life stressors.

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Francis- Agnes Wedding pictures...

More pictures...

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In God's loving hands...

Its one of the most things that I fear in life, to break my heart. Of course i know people wont want their hearts to be broken but there are events and things in our lives that happen for a reason and I believe they make us or break us. I broke my heart almost a year ago, it was somthing i chose to hide and I chose to keep to myself for I know announcing it would make it more harder to cope with. I cried in silence, alone in my room, in the stillness of the night, and there I felt God's hand comforting me, speaking to me, drying each tear from my eyes with His words. Only close people knew about it and I know they prayed for me, and I know it made the healing speedy. Looking back, it still makes my tears fall and I cant stop them, im a better person, broken and healed by the loving hands of God.

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The brown and pink checkered shorts...

I went to the mall yesterday and as usual wen to my favorite shops just looking and window shopping. I accompanied a friend who asked for help in buying shirt. I also went looking for shorts that and other stuff and saw this realy cute checkered pink and brown shorts, I know i was best for playing badminton. I went inside the fitting room, it was great it looked on me, then the post I made a day ago here on mylot came to me in a flashback and alas! I went out folded it back and tried to convince myself that it was not a good buy.LOL I know I sour graped and it was the best. I dont want to practice impulse buying and it was the start of what I called simple living. I still have many shorts for badminton at home and it was not really that essential.

read more......

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Sharing Rubiks Algorithm

-LIST OF ALGORITHMS-

1) Fi U Li Ui - to get the +

2) Ri Di R D - to get the right color for each corner

3) U R Ui Ri Ui Fi U F - to move one piece to the right

4) Ui Li U L U F Ui Fi - to get one piece to the left

5) F R U Ri Ui Fi - get first intverted L; face intverted L to get the cross

6) R U Ri U R U U Ri - from the cross; get the exact color in the middle

7) U R Ui Li U Ri Ui L - to get exact placement of corner colors

8) Ri Di R D - to get the perfect colors


R - away
Ri - towards you
L - towards you
Li - away
U - to the left
Ui - to the right
D - to the right
Di - to the left
F -to the right
Fi - to the left

http://www.rubiks.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubik's_Cube

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Top Cancer Causing Foods...

Hot dogs: The Cancer Prevention Coalition recommends that children should not eat more than 12 hot dogs per month because of the risk of cancer. If you must have your hot dog fix, look for those without sodium nitrite listed among the ingredients.

Processed meats and bacon: These meats almost always contain the same sodium nitrite found in hot dogs. You can find some without nitrites, but you'll have to look for them in natural grocers or health food stores. Bacon is also high in saturated fat, which contributes to the risk of cancers, including breast cancer. Limiting your consumption of processed meats and saturated fats also benefits the heart.

Doughnuts: Doughnuts contain hydrogenated oils, white flour, sugar, and acrylamides. Essentially, they're one of the worst cancer foods you can possibly eat. Reader's Digest calls doughnuts "disastrous" as a breakfast food, and many experts agree it's probably one of the worst ways to start the day.

French fries: Fries are made with hydrogenated oil and fried at high temperatures. Some chains even add sugar to their fry recipe to make them even more irresistible. Not only do they clog your arteries with saturated fat and trans fat, they also contain acrylamides. They should be called "cancer fries," not French fries.

* Chips / crackers / cookies: These generally contain white flour and sugar as well as trans fats, but it's not enough to simply look for these ingredients on the label; you have to actually "decode" the ingredients list that food manufacturers use to deceive consumers. They do this by hiding ingredients (such as hiding MSG in yeast extract, or by fiddling with serving sizes so they can claim the food is trans fat free, even when it contains trans fats (the new Girl Scout cookies use this trick).

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The Wordless Book

This GOLD page reminds us of Heaven. The Bible tells us Heaven has a street of gold! But the best part about Heaven is that God, who created you and me, lives there. The Bible, God's Word, says: "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." --- John 3:16 Jesus, God the Son, is in Heaven preparing a place for all who put their trust in Him. (John 14:2-3) God is holy and perfect. He cannot allow anything in Heaven that is less than perfect, so there's one thing that can never be in Heaven. Can you think of what that might be?
It is sin! That is what this DARK page reminds us of. Sin is anything you think, say, or do that does not please God, like lying, cheating, being selfish, or hurting others. The Bible says: "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." --- Romans 3:23 That means everyone, big or little, young or old! No matter where you live or who you are, you have sinned. Everyone is born with a "want to" to do wrong. God says that sin must be punished (Romans 6:23), and the punishment for sin is to be separated from God forever in a place of suffering....a place called Hell. But God has a wonderful plan so that you will not have to be punished for your sin!
God sent Jesus Christ, His perfect Son, to be born as a little baby. Jesus lived a perfect life....He never sinned. When He was grown, wicked men nailed Him to a cross. This page is RED reminding us of Jesus' blood. The Bible says that without the giving of blood there can be no forgiveness of sin (Hebrews 9:22). So Jesus Christ willingly died to take your sin punishment. "...Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures; and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day, according to the Scriptures."--- 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 Now, because of what Jesus has done for you, you can have your sins forgiven. Read on to see how!
The Bible says: "As many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believed on His name." --- John 1:12The WHITE page reminds us of a CLEAN heart. How can you have a clean heart? A = Admit to God you are a sinner and want to turn away from those sins. B = Believe in Jesus Christ, that He is God's perfect Son who died for your sin, was buried, and rose again. C = Call on Him to save you from your sin. Would you like to do that right now? He has promised to hear, and once you are His child, He will never leave you (Hebrews 13:5). Take a moment and talk to God right now. It will change your life forever. Only one more color! What can it mean?
GREEN stands for things that grow. When you ask God to forgive you and save you, you become His child. God wants you to get to know Him better and to grow to become more like Him. These four things will help you grow:
1. PRAY (talk to God every day)
2. READ & OBEY THE BIBLE (to know what He says, then do it)
3. TELL OTHERS ABOUT JESUS
4. GO TO A BIBLE-BELIEVING CHURCH (where you can learn more about pleasing Him)
As a child of God, if you should sin again, stop and tell Him about it. He promises in His Word... "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." --- 1 John 1:9 Ask God to help you live a life to please Him! Share the Good News of this story with someone else.

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first broken heart....

Its one of the most things that I fear in life, to break my heart. Anyways no one died of a broken heart i comfort myself. Of course i know people wont want their hearts to be broken but there are events and things in our lives that happen for a reason and I believe they make us or break us. I broke my heart almost a year ago, it was somthing i chose to hide and I chose to keep to myself for I know announcing it would make it more harder to cope with. I cried in silence, alone in my room, in the stillness of the night, and there I felt God's hand comforting me, speaking to me, drying each tear from my eyes with His words. Only close people knew about it and I know they prayed for me, and I know it made the healing speedy.

Looking back, it still makes my tears fall and I cant stop them, im a better person, broken and healed by the loving hands of God.

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Wedding thank you cards: the making

The Finished card

After cutting

Bare card

The materials

My bed: the venue

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Food Trip: Chocomoist cake with mallows

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Please dont read....

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One fine day...

one fine day...

Escape from the busy city.....

And embrace nature....

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I miss my father...

Hmmm., teary eyed as I write these thoughts from the heart, trying to fight back the tears from falling, looking up just to deny gravity from winning and feeling the tears from my eyes. A discussion by a friend brought back memories, lovely sweet memories with my father. and now gravity won, im crying. Just trying not to cry too much, im in the office and people might wonder this sudden dramatic scene they are witnessing.

Well, hmmm, tears again. Please, stop from falling, I guess I cant seem to stop them, its as if they have minds of their own, i told them to stop, but they jsut want to get out from my eyes and shout its freedom day. I know its embarassing but, I can manage to wipe them as quickly as I could.

Father died 14 years ago, just miss him, envy those kids who are walking happily with their fathers. Im just glad I still have a heavenly father who knows all I have deep inside of me.

I miss you PAPA.

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Sharing .... i leanred something...

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married,share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust,desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.

If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.

Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a relationship strong?

Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of umor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily xchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).

Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email. Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.

The difference between 'UNiTED' and 'UNTiED' is where you put the i.

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Vidoes I Watch...

Im glad I found this site now I can watch the episodes I missed. Hope you'll enjoy watching.

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Letting Go

by TD Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person, it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have - He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .. LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth... LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge .. LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents . LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude... LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him... LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship. ... LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed .... LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to... LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for you!!! LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

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